Čas alkoholizma je bil lep

Mogoče sem eden redkih, ki si upa na glas povedati, da je bil moj čas alkoholizma eno lepših obdobij v mojem življenju. Za mojo družino pa pekel. Ne morem reči, da mi je po zdravljenju kaj manjkalo, ker mi ni, a tiste popolne sproščenosti in igrivosti ni bilo več. Predvsem pa, ni mi žal, da sem se šel zdravit in bi to še enkrat ponovil, a včasih pogrešam tisti nori čas.

Piti sem začel že v osnovni šoli, sem pač odraščal na kmetiji, kjer je bilo čisto normalno, da »dec« pije. V osmem razredu sem bil v šoli večkrat pijan kot trezen. Ko so očeta klicali v šolo, ker sem pijan spet počel neumnosti in sošolce in sošolke spravljal v smeh, je tudi sam prišel v šolo konkretno nadevan in učiteljici na mizo postavil domač šnops, da se bosta pogovorila.

Od takrat mi ni več težila, le rekla, da če kaj potrebujem, je tam za mene. Mislim, da je dojela, da nima smisla, ker smo doma pač pili. Poklicno šolo sem komajda naredil ter se zaposlil v lokalnem podjetju. Iz srednje šole imam veliko lukenj, ker smo ponovno veliko pili, se vozili z motorjem, skakal sem za kiklami, bežal pred policijo, naredil kar nekaj neumnosti, se vsaj enkrat na mesec stepel v gostilni in se zbudil pri neznanem dekletu.  

Če ste pričakovali, da bom v službi pil manj, se to ni zgodilo. Pili so skoraj vsi, tako da sem se hitro vklopil v družbo. Šef je za dobro jutru z nami »ruknil« šilce, pa ob vsaki »čik pavzi«, pa za malico, pa za … izgovorov je bilo veliko. Normo smo hitro naredili, ker smo imeli dogovor, da nihče ne sme narediti več, kot smo se dogovorili, in to filozofijo so sprejele vse izmene. Tako nam je ostalo ogromno časa za pitje. Ko so prišli novinci, smo jih kaj kmalu podučili, kako morajo delati, če pa so se kaj preveč upirali, smo poskrbeli, da niso dolgo delali.

Pri 20 sem šel, kot večina fantov takrat, v vojsko. Sprva ni bilo toliko možnosti za pitje, a kaj ko sem po spletu okoliščin pristal v kuhinji – dostop do alkohola je bil neomejen. Jaz sem se v vojski imel super, manjka mi kar nekaj spomina, a vem, da smo počeli vse mogoče neumnosti, od tega, da smo kradli meso ter ta fino hrano častnikom. Absolutno kakšno pijačo. Dostikrat smo fine viskije prelivali v naše steklenice, tiste, ki so bile namenjene častnikom, pa dopolnili z vodo.

Če nam je kakšen častnik preveč najedal, je v kavo dobil malce cigaretnega pepela in dan potem preživel na stranišču. Še danes imam na podstrešju nekaj opreme, ki sem si jo sposodil za nedoločen čas.

Po vojski sem spoznal ženo, in ker sem ji zelo hitro naredil otroka, sva se posledično tudi hitro poročila. Ni me imela časa spoznati in ugotoviti, da imam težave z alkoholom. A v tem času sem začel manj piti, saj so mi delo, gradnja hiše in pomoč pri vzgoji, ker za prvim otrokom so prišli še trije, vzeli veliko časa.

A ko je bila hiša zgrajena in otroci že v osnovni šoli, sem ponovno posegel po alkoholu. To ne pomeni, da v vsem tem času nisem pil, sem, a ne toliko, da bi postalo moteče. To je postalo kasneje, saj se je prevečkrat zgodilo, da nisem vedel, kje sem pustil avto, da sem zaspal pred vrati hiše, v avtu, v jarku pri hiši, pri prijateljih. Policija me je lovila vsakega pol leta, vsaka tri leta so me ujeli in običajno sem ostal brez izpita, nekajkrat sem ga moral opravljati še enkrat.

V službi sem napredoval v delovodjo in razen tega, da sem drugim narekoval tempo in ohranjal že znano formulo dela, nisem imel kaj početi. Nesreče v tem času k sreči nikoli ni bilo, smo pa bili dostikrat blizu. A kot kaže, imajo pijanci več sreče kot pameti, kar se je pokazalo, da je res. Direktorju je bilo pomembno le, da smo izpolnili vsa naročila, četudi smo ob tem komaj stali.

Načeloma nisem imel razloga, da bi prenehal. V službi mi nihče ni težil, prijatelji so bili tudi pijanski prijatelji, cel svet je bil naš. Žena mi ni težila, ker je tudi sama prihajala iz družine, kjer je vladal alkohol, tako da ji je bilo moje pitje nekaj čisto običajnega. Nikoli nisem bil nasilen, sem pa bil zabaven in pobudnik tistih nočnih klicev, ko si koga poklical in poslal na stranišče … Imitirat sem znal kar nekaj ljudi, tako sem bil vedno v središču pozornosti, eden tistih, ki so ga vedno vsi povabili na zabave, rojstne dneve, saj sem skrbel za vzdušje.

Kot sem napisal, nič mi ni manjkalo in bi po vsej verjetnosti še pridno pil, če moje telo ne bi bilo tako odvisno, da sem imel brez alkohola halucinacije in tremorje. Situacija je bila že tako huda, da sem pristal na psihiatriji, ker so menili, da sem nor, dokler ni zdravnik naredil krvnih testov in ugotovil, da imam jetra skoraj uničena, in me začel zasliševati, koliko pijem.

Kot vsi pijanci sem odvisnost zanikal in mu skušal prodati, da sem zmeren pivec, da pijem samo občasno, in to samo kakšen kozarček. Ker je imel kar nekaj izkušenj s takšnimi kalibri, kot sem jaz, sva hitro prišla do tega, da bom težje našel dneve, ko sem bil trezen, kot tiste, ko sem bil pijan.

Razložil mi je, da sem že tako daleč, da če bom nadaljeval s tem, da imam še kakšno leto ali dve življenja. Odločil sem se za zdravljenje, od tega je že 25 let. Nekaj prijateljev sem izgubil, nekaj jih je umrlo zaradi alkohola, nekaj jih je ostalo in mnogi so šli po mojih stopinjah.

Še vedno sem zabaven, le da nimam več toliko poguma. S policisti imam težave le pri usklajevanju, koliko točk sem si spet zaslužil zaradi prehitre vožnje. Normo v službi smo dvignili na realno, ker nas je večina šla na zdravljenje in so sedaj ukrepi zaradi alkohola zelo strogi.

Sem že dedek in skušam čas, ki sem ga pri otrocih zamudil zaradi alkohola, nadoknaditi z vnuki. Otrokom sem se že neštetokrat opravičil, a opravičilo ne more nadomestiti vseh zamujenih dogodkov. Rad jih imam, kot tudi ženo, ki mi je vedno stala ob strani. Upam pa, da mi bodo enkrat le zaupali in da mi ne bo več treba vsake zamudo domov opravičevati, za vsako dobljeno piko razlagati vzroka in vedno znova dokazovati, da sva se z alkoholom razšla. Nekega dne, vem, nekega dne bo tako.

Članek je bil objavljen na spletni strani Slovenec https://www.slovenec.org/2021/03/10/cas-alkoholizma-je-bil-lep/

45 thoughts on “Čas alkoholizma je bil lep

  1. You are actually a just right webmaster. The website loading velocity is incredible.
    It kind of feels that you’re doing any distinctive trick. Also, the contents are masterwork.
    you’ve performed a magnificent task on this matter!
    Similar here: tani sklep and also here:
    Sklep internetowy

  2. Hey there! Do you know if they make any plugins to help with
    SEO? I’m trying to get my website to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good gains.
    If you know of any please share. Appreciate it! I saw
    similar blog here: List of Backlinks

  3. Wow, fantastic weblog layout!
    How long have you been running a blog for? you make blogging glance easy.

    The entire look of your web site is excellent, as
    neatly as the content material! You can read similar here
    prev next and
    it’s was wrote by Jon91.

  4. Wow, incredible weblog layout!
    How lengthy have you ever been blogging for? you made running a
    blog glance easy. The whole look of your web site is excellent, as
    well as the content material! You can see similar here prev next and it’s was
    wrote by Mellisa76.

  5. Hi! Do you know if they make any plugins to assist with SEO?

    I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some
    targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good success.
    If you know of any please share. Many thanks! You can read similar article
    here: Escape room list

  6. I have been surfing on-line greater than three hours nowadays, yet I by no means found any attention-grabbing article like yours. It’s lovely value enough for me. Personally, if all website owners and bloggers made just right content as you did, the net shall be much more helpful than ever before!

  7. I have to thank you for the efforts you’ve put in penning this website. I’m hoping to see the same high-grade blog posts by you later on as well. In truth, your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my own site now 😉

  8. Hey there! Do you know if they make any plugins to assist with SEO?

    I’m trying to get my site to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing
    very good success. If you know of any please share.

    Many thanks! I saw similar blog here: blogexpander.com

  9. I need to to thank you for this great read!! I absolutely enjoyed every bit of it. I’ve got you saved as a favorite to check out new stuff you post…

  10. Everything is very open with a very clear explanation of the issues. It was definitely informative. Your website is very useful. Thank you for sharing.

  11. Spot on with this write-up, I truly think this web site needs far more attention. I’ll probably be returning to read through more, thanks for the information!

  12. Aw, this was a very nice post. In concept I would like to put in writing like this moreover – taking time and actual effort to make an excellent article… but what can I say… I procrastinate alot and on no account appear to get something done.

  13. Can I simply just say what a relief to uncover somebody that genuinely knows what they’re talking about on the net. You certainly understand how to bring an issue to light and make it important. A lot more people have to look at this and understand this side of the story. It’s surprising you’re not more popular given that you most certainly have the gift.

  14. My brother recommended I might like this blog. He was entirely right. This post actually made my day. You cann’t imagine simply how much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!

  15. Valuable info. Lucky me I found your web site by accident, and I am shocked why this accident did not happened earlier! I bookmarked it.

  16. Excellent goods from you, man. I’ve remember your stuff prior to and you’re simply extremely wonderful. I really like what you have bought here, really like what you are stating and the way in which you say it. You’re making it entertaining and you still care for to stay it sensible. I can’t wait to learn much more from you. This is actually a tremendous site.

  17. Having read this I believed it was extremely informative. I appreciate you spending some time and energy to put this short article together. I once again find myself personally spending a significant amount of time both reading and posting comments. But so what, it was still worth it.

  18. I must thank you for the efforts you’ve put in penning this site. I really hope to see the same high-grade content from you in the future as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has encouraged me to get my own, personal site now 😉

  19. Thanks for sharing excellent informations. Your web-site is very cool. I am impressed by the details that you’ve on this web site. It reveals how nicely you perceive this subject. Bookmarked this website page, will come back for extra articles. You, my friend, ROCK! I found simply the info I already searched all over the place and just could not come across. What a perfect website.

  20. Having read this I believed it was extremely informative. I appreciate you finding the time and energy to put this article together. I once again find myself spending way too much time both reading and leaving comments. But so what, it was still worth it.

  21. After exploring a number of the blog articles on your web site, I honestly appreciate your technique of writing a blog. I book marked it to my bookmark webpage list and will be checking back soon. Please visit my web site as well and let me know what you think.

  22. This is a really good tip particularly to those fresh to the blogosphere. Brief but very precise info… Thanks for sharing this one. A must read article.

  23. This is a good tip especially to those new to the blogosphere. Short but very accurate information… Appreciate your sharing this one. A must read article.

  24. Greetings! Very helpful advice within this article! It’s the little changes that make the most significant changes. Many thanks for sharing!

  25. Aw, this was a really nice post. In thought I wish to put in writing like this moreover – taking time and actual effort to make a very good article… however what can I say… I procrastinate alot and under no circumstances seem to get one thing done.

  26. Hey, you used to write wonderful, but the last several posts have been kinda boring… I miss your great writings. Past few posts are just a bit out of track! come on!

  27. An outstanding share! I have just forwarded this onto a coworker who was conducting a little homework on this. And he actually bought me dinner due to the fact that I stumbled upon it for him… lol. So let me reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanks for spending some time to talk about this matter here on your internet site.

  28. Greetings, I think your web site could possibly be having internet browser compatibility problems. When I take a look at your website in Safari, it looks fine however, when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping issues. I simply wanted to provide you with a quick heads up! Apart from that, wonderful website.

  29. I’m amazed, I have to admit. Seldom do I come across a blog that’s both equally educative and entertaining, and let me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head. The issue is something that too few folks are speaking intelligently about. Now i’m very happy that I came across this during my search for something concerning this.

  30. You are so cool! I do not believe I’ve read a single thing like that before. So great to discover someone with some genuine thoughts on this subject matter. Seriously.. many thanks for starting this up. This website is one thing that’s needed on the web, someone with a bit of originality.

  31. An outstanding share! I’ve just forwarded this onto a coworker who had been doing a little research on this. And he actually bought me breakfast due to the fact that I stumbled upon it for him… lol. So allow me to reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanks for spending time to talk about this subject here on your internet site.

  32. I’m amazed, I have to admit. Rarely do I encounter a blog that’s both equally educative and entertaining, and without a doubt, you’ve hit the nail on the head. The issue is something which too few people are speaking intelligently about. Now i’m very happy I came across this in my hunt for something relating to this.

  33. Greetings! Very helpful advice within this article! It is the little changes that make the biggest changes. Thanks for sharing!

  34. Hi, I do believe this is an excellent blog. I stumbledupon it 😉 I am going to return yet again since I book marked it. Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and continue to help others.

Dodaj odgovor

Vaš e-naslov ne bo objavljen. * označuje zahtevana polja