Ljubi me, ne ljubi me … le kako to vedeti?

Pravijo, da nas le ljubezen ozdravi, izpolni in ponese prek lastnih mej. Čudovito je ko se zaljubiš, še lepše, če je tvoja ljubezen uslišana. Večina ljubezenskih zgodb se začne po vzorcu: nekoga spoznaš, ga začutiš in on tebe, preskoči iskra, sledi izpoved ljubezni in poskus skupne prihodnosti.

Vendar se dostikrat zatakne pri tem, da ne veš, če so na drugi strani čustva. Veš, da si se zaljubil, vendar se ti ne sanja, ali druga stran sploh ve, da obstajaš.

V koga se zaljubimo?

Teorija zaljubljenosti temelji na tem, da se vedno zaljubljamo v ljudi, ki v nas prebudijo čutenja iz otroštva, ter z njimi odigramo isto igro, kot smo jo v otroštvu. Torej, ali ob nekom zrastemo ali pustimo, da smo prizadeti in izdani.

Teorija zaljubljenosti temelji na tem, da se vedno zaljubljamo v ljudi, ki v nas prebudijo čutenja iz otroštva, ter z njimi odigramo isto igro, kot smo jo v otroštvu.
Teorija zaljubljenosti temelji na tem, da se vedno zaljubljamo v ljudi, ki v nas prebudijo čutenja iz otroštva, ter z njimi odigramo isto igro, kot smo jo v otroštvu.
Vir slike: Pixabay

Toda, kaj pa odigramo z vsemi tistimi, za katere sploh ne vemo, ali je bilo med nami kaj čustvenega, ob tistih »ljubeznih«, ko se sprašujemo, če smo nori, ali se nam samo zdi, da je zanimanje obojestransko. Mogoče naša pričakovanja in želje povzročijo, da vidimo situacijo v drugi luči in jo doživljamo tako, ker izhaja naše videnje iz naših želja. Vendar vseh situacij ne moremo pripisati temu.

Kako veš, da si nekomu všeč?

Če naredimo korak nazaj in si situacijo skušamo ogledati z drugega zornega kota ter še vedno ostajajo delčki, ki jih ni moč pripisati naši želji, potem je nekaj na stvari, da smo občudovani osebi všeč.

Res je, da so nekateri ljudje prijazni, ampak tudi prijaznost in komplimenti imajo svoje meje. Prav tako svojih najglobljih čutenj ne zaupaš komerkoli. Do tega človeka moraš gojiti posebna čutenja, predvsem zaupanje in spoštovanje, kar pa sta osnovna temelja t. i. prave ljubezni.

Torej, zakaj se v takšnem primeru vseeno ne zgodi nič? Resnica je žal v tem, da imamo na drugi strani osebo, ki je globoko čustveno ranjena in jo je zelo, zelo strah, da bi bila ranjena še bolj.

V sami osnovi si želi ljubezni in biti ljubljena, vendar zaradi vzorcev iz preteklosti ne upa narediti koraka naprej. Strah je tako močan, da se na nek način raje igra s čustvi drugega, ker je to varno. Po drugi strani pa takšen človek ravno ne ve, kaj bi rad. Razum je tisti, ki ga vodi, mogoče se zaveda, da s tem ovira samo sebe in da najmočneje prizadene ravno sebe, a tega ne bo nikoli in nikdar priznal.

Igra ljubezni se bo odvijala mesece in mesece, mogoče, ampak res mogoče pa bo ta oseba pripravljena nekoč priznati, da nekaj čuti ter želi poskusiti nekaj več.

Še vedno velja zakon privlačnosti, torej pritegnemo k sebi nekoga z razlogom.
Še vedno velja zakon privlačnosti, torej pritegnemo k sebi nekoga z razlogom.
Vir slike: Pixabay

Kaj narediti, ko ljubiš »napačno« osebo?

In kaj naj naredi tisti, ki se je zaljubil v takšno osebo? Najlažje je reči, naj na to osebo pozabi in gre dalje, to pa vedno ne gre. Če že resnično želi situacijo razrešiti, mora pri sebi raziskati, zakaj ga je ta oseba pritegnila.

Še vedno velja zakon privlačnosti, torej pritegnemo k sebi nekoga z razlogom. In ko to uspe ugotoviti, lahko naredi korak naprej. Ali se z drago osebo sooči in jo postavi pred dejstvo ali pa preprosto gre dalje.

Čakanje, da se bo zgodilo nekaj, da bo prišel pravi trenutek, da bo oseba na drugi strani dojela in si priznala, kaj si želi, je popolnoma brezpredmetno, ker bo minilo veliko, veliko časa, bistvenih rezultatov pa ne bo. Mogoče se boste s to osebo čez leta pogovarjali o svojih čutenjih in izvedeli, da je tudi ona čakala na vašo zeleno luč, da tudi ona ni vedela, kaj čutite, čeprav ste bili sami prepričani, da ste to jasno pokazali in povedali.

Odrasle osebe smo in pogovor razreši veliko zakajev. Navsezadnje smo sami kreatorji življenja in vse je v naših rokah, nihče drug ne bo sprejemal življenjskih odločitev namesto nas. Če ne poskusimo, nikoli ne bomo vedeli in vprašanje bo ostalo večno odprto.

Članek je bil objavljen na spletni strani Slovenec https://www.slovenec.org/2020/11/15/ljubi-me-ne-ljubi-me-le-kako-to-vedeti/

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